Get Out Of Your Own Damn Way

Get Out Of Your Own Damn Way

When I get overwhelmed, which is so often, I try to remember to start with what I know.

I know that is only me in my way. Sure there are all the logistical complications of three kids, an existing business, and all the basic needs that must be met, but really that’s not what keeps me here – in this limited place where it so often feels like I am sitting on my hands or being held back by powerful hidden forces.

How do I know that what stops me from being brave is just me? Because when I want to stay up to watch another TV show, I do it. When I want to stop for ice cream, I do it. When it’s important for me to show up for someone’s pain, birth, or just questions, I make sure I’m there. And I know that this is for me but it’s so much easier to frame it as the small stuff or as something done for someone else.

So why not for me, my best self, my creative potential?

The easy answer is that it’s hard. And it’s especially hard to do it alone. That’s why I sit here in a café across from someone else struggling to get out of their own way – and together we are stronger, more focused, more determined, less afraid to go to that risky place of creative thought, that place of growth, the sense of possibility, the place of change.

But sometimes it hurts…

That’s why “The Artist’s Way”.

For me in my life, this practice has become like a friend holding space for me to struggle and choose to make the harder choices. It taught me how to show up for myself and has helped me to become more accountable for my needs.

Are you curious about what it would be like to show up in your own corner? What is possible if you simply step aside, fill the page, clear the way towards what really matters, your best self, life’s work.

Join me in my online course offering of, Get Out Of Your Own Damn Way.

Course Duration: July 24th - October 16th
Time: 8-9PM
Cost: $300
Sign Up Here!

That one thing that person said

That one thing that one person said...

I went to a party. It was so nice to see the people there. Most of them said really nice things to me about who I am and what I do. One person didn’t. One person made a comment - an unsolicited comment on how I chose to do my hair. It wasn’t an insult exactly. I might have appreciated some constructive feedback about that. But when I thanked them for there connect, they were very clear that it wasn’t a compliment.... what do I do with that?

So often we don’t notice pain when it goes away. We notice pain, pain, pain, and then nothing. Finally, a whole lot later, we realize that where there was once pain, there is no pain any longer.

While it’s hard for me to receive compliments and thanks from others, and nearly impossible to praise myself, I’ve gotten better at it. Someone says something nice and now I hear it, take it in, try to feel the good feelings from it. Then I say thank you. It’s hard for me to hold onto these thoughts and feelings. But when someone says something critical, or even something that feels like the absence of something good, my brain goes to a dark place.

I start to mull it over in my mind to try to assess the meaning, the context, the feeling, and the feeling behind the feeling. I try to figure out what I should have done or said differently. I know that not everyone will like everything about me. Not everyone will like what I do or what I teach but it’s so easy to only feel the bad feelings.

I heard someone smart suggest keeping a file of compliments you’ve received to pull out during the times of self-doubt...

While that might work for you, I’m working on another idea. I’m trying to fill my attention with more of what I want to be doing: more of what I know is helpful, more of what I know is good, more of what will give me the intrinsic good feelings these actions give me. These will leave little room for self-criticism.

Ok, so, let’s talk about being busy another day. In the meantime...

I’ve noticed that I will fill my mind space with anything I have. It will be negative self-talk when that is what’s in the forefront of my mind or it will be new ideas, crazy barre exercises, or ways to help make our community better. Whatever is motivating me. It is because of this that I am trying to surround myself with people, places, and things that inspire me, push me to be creative, and to think through things through in new ways. If I am busy creatively problem solving I’m not so self-critical. I actually can’t be so self-obsessed with how to be liked by everyone and how to meet everyone’s needs.

How can we do more of this for each other? How can we help to foster creative problem solving and new ideas? A number of years ago we started a LifeWorks book club and chose to talk through complicated topics and ideas like how we learn. I found it so inspiring to be curious while being with others. That’s how I want to be with my friends. Should we do it again? What should we read/learn together?